I’ve never really talked about this outside the pages of Sound Mind. Honestly, it’s one of those parts of my story I’d rather forget. It’s painful. It’s embarrassing. But lately, I’ve realized it also explains why I’m so drawn to the conversation about purpose.

So maybe it’s time to tell it again.

I remember driving down the road during a storm and thinking, Come on… let one of those trees fall on me.  I also remember thinking, I probably have forty more years to live. How am I supposed to survive feeling like this for forty more years?

Those thoughts are difficult to admit out loud. They’re not the kind of stories you bring up over coffee. They’re certainly not the stories you imagine sharing on the internet. But they’re part of my story.

Over the years, I’ve heard other believers share similar battles. Every story is different, and I would never pretend there’s one simple explanation for depression or hopelessness. Depression is real. Mental struggles are real. I can only tell you what God began teaching me in the middle of my own story.

Looking back now, I can see something I couldn’t see then. I hadn’t just lost hope.

I’d lost sight of my purpose.

I couldn’t see that my life still mattered. I couldn’t see how God could possibly use someone like me after I had failed so many times. Every day felt like something to survive instead of something to steward. I thought I needed my circumstances to change. I thought I needed to feel happier. I thought I needed more motivation.

What I actually needed was to remember who I was and why God created me.

God didn’t hand me a five year plan. He simply placed one small opportunity in front of me. An opportunity to serve. To encourage someone. To write. To open His Word. To care for other women. None of those things felt extraordinary. Most of them felt very ordinary. But every small “yes” reminded me that my life still mattered.

Hope didn’t return all at once. It returned one faithful step at a time.

As I kept saying yes to what God placed in front of me, I slowly began to believe something I hadn’t believed in a long time. My life mattered. God had created me intentionally. He wasn’t finished with my story. He had prepared good works for me long before I ever knew His name, and He was inviting me to walk in them.

That’s why Ephesians 2:10 has become one of the most meaningful verses in my life.

“For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.”

When I read those words now, I don’t just see a beautiful verse.

I see rescue.

I want to be careful here because I know purpose is not a cure for every struggle. Discovering purpose didn’t erase every battle I faced, and it wasn’t the only way God cared for me. Every person’s story is different.

I can only tell you mine. When I lost sight of my purpose, I lost sight of hope. As God gently reminded me that my life still mattered, hope began to return.

I’m still learning how God has wired me. I’m still asking what faithfulness looks like in this season. I’m still learning to walk in the good works He prepared for me. Maybe that’s why I’m so passionate about this conversation. Not because I’ve arrived, but because I’m still walking it.

Maybe that’s where you are today.

Maybe you’ve spent years pouring yourself into everyone else. Maybe you’ve drifted in and out of church. Maybe somewhere along the way you’ve forgotten that God still has a purpose for your life beyond simply getting through another day.

If that’s you, I’d love for you to join me this fall for Created on Purpose.

This isn’t a Bible study for women who have it all together. It’s for the woman who’s wondering if God still has something for her. It’s for the mom who’s spent so much time taking care of everyone else that she’s forgotten God still wants to meet with her. Together we’ll open God’s Word, walk through Ephesians, and rediscover what has been true all along. We are His workmanship. We belong to Him. And He has prepared good works for us to walk in.

I don’t have all the answers.

But I know where we can look.

Friend, your value has never been determined by your feelings. Your purpose has never been canceled by your pain. The God who created you has not changed His mind about you.

Keep taking the next small step. Keep saying yes to the thing He’s placed in front of you today. Hope doesn’t always return in one dramatic moment. Sometimes it returns one faithful step at a time. Then one day you look back and realize He was leading you toward life all along.

Maybe that’s where hope begins to return.