“Not my will, but Yours be done.” — Luke 22:42

Have you ever said “I trust God” while still clenching your fists?

🎧 Prefer to listen while you walk, drive, or fold laundry? Here’s the audio version of today’s post.

Same.
Surrender sounds fine until it requires us to actually loosen our grip.
And let’s be honest: most of us aren’t white-knuckling out of pride, we’re clenching because we care. We love deeply. We want to protect what matters. And somewhere along the way, control starts to feel like the responsible thing to do. But what if the thing we’re calling “responsibility” is really just fear with a different name? What if our peace isn’t found in holding everything together, but in finally letting go?

We love our people. We want the best for them. We want to shield them, guide them, prepare them, protect them. And sometimes, without realizing it, we start carrying things that were never ours to hold.

Control creeps in through the cracks of love. It disguises itself as responsibility, preparation, planning. But underneath all of it?
Fear.

We don’t try to control everything because we think we’re better than God.
We try to control things because we’re scared of what might happen if we don’t.

This week, we’re talking about the shift from control to surrender, not the kind that comes easy, but the kind Jesus modeled in the garden. Raw. Costly. Real.

The Illusion of Control

Let’s just say it: Control feels safer than surrender. It gives the illusion of peace, but that peace is fragile.

Because as soon as something doesn’t go the way we mapped it out, we spiral. We overthink. We tighten our grip. We try to fix everything around us while falling apart on the inside. But here’s the truth: Control doesn’t lead to clarity.
It leads to anxiety.
Every. Single. Time.

Jesus in the Garden

One of the most powerful moments in all of Scripture is when Jesus prays in the Garden of Gethsemane. Fully God, fully human, fully aware of the suffering that’s coming… and He still says:

“Father, if You are willing, take this cup from Me. Yet not My will, but Yours be done.” (Luke 22:42)

That is not a passive prayer. That is a bold, gut-level, heart-wrestling prayer. That is surrender in the face of fear. And that is the model we’ve been given.

Jesus doesn’t pretend He’s fine. He brings His anguish to the Father. And then… He lets go. Not because He doesn’t care. But because He trusts.

When Surrender Feels Like Losing

For the woman reading this who’s holding it all together for everyone else… This isn’t an invitation to quit. It’s an invitation to breathe. Letting go doesn’t mean you’ve stopped loving. It means you’ve stopped trying to be God in the lives of people you love.

And that shift… from control to surrender… isn’t weakness. It’s worship.

Surrender says: “I trust You more than I trust my own plans.”
Surrender says: “I believe You’re working, even when I can’t see it.”
Surrender says: “Your peace is better than my control.”

Reset Your Grip

Here’s one question I’ve started asking myself in the spiral moments:
“What am I gripping that God never asked me to carry?”

And here’s the prayer that follows:
“Not my will, but Yours.”
Even when it’s hard. Even when I don’t understand. Even in this.

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If you haven’t downloaded it yet, the Sound Mind e-book is this week’s featured freebie*, and it’s the perfect companion to everything we’re walking through together. Whether you’re navigating fear, decision fatigue, or just mental fog, this 30-day journey will walk you back to clarity.

Inside the e-book:

✦ Scripture-based devotionals for each day
✦ Honest stories from my own wrestle with fear and control
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✦ Reflection questions to help you slow down and respond instead of react

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*Amazon only allowed free ebooks for a promotional timeframe. So the “freebie” is actually $.99 (the minimum).