Choices Lead, Feelings Follow

What if a ‘pre-decided yes’ could keep you from caving when it counts most?

It was Wednesday afternoon. I was tired, not feeling it, just wanting to go home. I picked up Noah from football. His backpack was loaded with homework from three classes. He has a test on Friday. Tomorrow night is already booked with a varsity game. Lance was out of town, and I was ready to crawl into my jammies early, pick my own show, and call it a night.

But then I heard the Spirit whisper: “You’ve pre-decided this yes.”

See, a while back the Lord pressed on my heart that a sound mind is a disciplined mind. A sound mind is a holy mind. Living with a sound mind means I will carry some pre-decided yeses for my life. They may change with seasons, and yours may look different from mine. I have several right now, but two of mine that I want to share are: only Christian music in the mornings on the way to school, and we go to church on Wednesday nights.

So even though my body and feelings said “no,” I knew He would honor that yes. I walked into the church with a weary spirit and ended the night with tears streaming down my face, undone by the simple faithfulness of one of our church’s matriarchs. Ms. Merle, at 88 years old, stood up to speak. Her voice faltered at times, her memory slipped on a few words, but she showed up. She gave her yes. And God used her to soften my heart. By the end, what felt like an ordinary midweek night became balm for my soul.

That’s when Daniel came to mind.

“But Daniel resolved not to defile himself with the royal food and wine…” — Daniel 1:8 NIV

Sometimes holiness doesn’t feel appetizing at first. Choosing the holy way can feel like picking the veggie platter when steak and potatoes are on the table. It’s not flashy. It doesn’t cater to cravings. It rarely looks appealing at first glance.

But Daniel and his friends show us what holy discipline looks like.

Daniel 1:3–5, 8, 15–17 (NIV)

3 Then the king ordered Ashpenaz, chief of his court officials, to bring into the king’s service some of the Israelites from the royal family and the nobility—
4 young men without any physical defect, handsome, showing aptitude for every kind of learning, well informed, quick to understand, and qualified to serve in the king’s palace. He was to teach them the language and literature of the Babylonians.
5 The king assigned them a daily amount of food and wine from the king’s table. They were to be trained for three years, and after that they were to enter the king’s service.

8 But Daniel resolved not to defile himself with the royal food and wine, and he asked the chief official for permission not to defile himself this way.

15 At the end of the ten days they looked healthier and better nourished than any of the young men who ate the royal food.
16 So the guard took away their choice food and the wine they were to drink and gave them vegetables instead.
17 To these four young men God gave knowledge and understanding of all kinds of literature and learning. And Daniel could understand visions and dreams of all kinds.

Daniel didn’t wait until he was staring down the king’s table to decide. He resolved ahead of time. His yes to God came before the pressure. That’s what gave him strength when compromise looked easier.

That’s what holy discipline really is.
It’s a quiet yes that happens before the heat is on.
It’s a boundary you set when your head is clear, not when your heart is pulled.
It’s trusting that God’s way, even when it feels small, hidden, unflashy, will satisfy in ways the world never could.

Because here’s the truth: Babylon doesn’t demand your worship overnight. It slowly erodes your holiness with little compromises… through playlists, Netflix queues, Target aisles, Instagram reels, gossip threads. What looks harmless begins to reshape your appetite until you wake up and realize your peace is gone and you can’t remember the last time you heard God clearly.

That’s why you need a pre-decided yes.

A holy yes.
A Daniel yes.
A “this is who I am, and I already made up my mind” kind of yes.

And friend, I’ve lived both ways. I’ve compromised in the moment and felt the soul-sickness that followed. I have wasted years of parenthood chasing things that will never matter in eternity. But now that I’m working on choosing the slower, quieter, disciplined road….every time, without fail, my heart eventually catches up. The peace comes. The joy deepens. The clarity I crave arrives.

Because choices lead, and feelings follow.

1 Peter 1:13–14 — “Therefore, with minds that are alert and fully sober, set your hope on the grace to be brought to you… Do not conform to the evil desires you had when you lived in ignorance.”

Romans 12:2 — “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind…”

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Reflection + Reset Step

Ask yourself:

• Where am I blending in when God is calling me to stand out?
• What’s being offered at Babylon’s table in this season?
• What appetite is forming in me that doesn’t align with who I am in Christ?

Now write down one specific holy “yes” for this week. Maybe it’s a boundary with your screen time, your words, your relationships, your calendar, or your habits. Don’t wait until it feels holy. Pre-decide it now.

Tape it where you’ll see it. Let it lead you this week. And watch what God does with your yes.

Want to take this deeper?

I put together a simple tool to help you carry this into your week,
the “Pre-Decided Yes” Workbook.

It’s not complicated. Just a space to name your yes, anchor it in scripture, and keep it in front of you when life gets noisy. Think of it as a little guide you can stick on the fridge, slip in your Bible, or glance at when you’re tempted to cave to the easy option.

You’ll find it waiting in The Reset Room.

Because remember, sister: choices lead, feelings follow.

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Come join me in The Reset Room. It’s my free library of tools and printables designed to help you live anchored and clear-minded in a world that pulls you in every direction.

I’ll send you the password straight to your inbox so you can step in today.

And friend, remember…God honors your holy resolve. One quiet yes at a time.

With grace,
Jessica Lee