How love steadies the mind when emotions try to take control.

Ever caught yourself snapping and instantly regretting it? Here’s how to let love, not fear, take the wheel.

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.”Galatians 5:22–23 (NIV)

I carry desires for how things should go…for my day, my family, my relationships. And when those expectations get shaken, emotions can take the wheel fast. For me, usually it’s fear in the driver’s seat, and it makes me clamp down, control, and lash out. I don’t even realize it, and honestly, it feels like “love” in the moment. It’s not love at all…it’s fear in disguise, trying to protect what we care about most.

But God doesn’t give us a spirit of fear. The Spirit He gives is love. Love that doesn’t panic under pressure, love that stays steady, love that interrupts anger before it explodes. And fear is just one of the reasons we lose control and snap. Sometimes it’s anxiety. Sometimes it’s heartbreak. And sometimes, like David, it’s pride and offense. We feel disrespected… dismissed… overlooked… and something rises up fast and hot. We lash out because something inside us feels threatened, whether it’s our peace, our plans, or our sense of worth.

But no matter the reason…when love interrupts, it puts our hands back on the wheel. Back at ten and two. Back in step with the Spirit. That’s exactly what happened to David when love stepped in, through Abigail.

David and his men had been living out in the wilderness. They were warriors on the run from King Saul, but they weren’t out there pillaging villages or stealing from shepherds. Quite the opposite. When David’s men camped near the shepherds of a wealthy man named Nabal, they protected them. No sheep went missing, no harm came to the shepherds. It was an unspoken blessing.

So when sheep shearing season came, a time of feasting and generosity, David sent ten young men to greet Nabal respectfully. They spoke peace over his household, reminded him of how they had looked after his men, and asked humbly for provisions.

But Nabal sneered. “Who is this David? Who is this son of Jesse? Many servants are breaking away from their masters these days. Why should I take my bread and water and the meat I’ve slaughtered and give it to men coming from who knows where?” (1 Samuel 25:10–11, NIV)

Just like that, David snapped. The man after God’s own heart, the poet, the worshiper; his pride caught fire. “Each of you strap on your sword!” David barked. Four hundred men tightened their belts, steel flashing in the sun. There was no prayer, no pause, no counsel. Just rage and a plan for bloodshed.

Word reached Nabal’s wife, Abigail. She didn’t waste time blaming her husband or wringing her hands. She gathered bread, wine, sheep already prepared, roasted grain, figs, raisins…provisions fit for an army. She loaded them on donkeys and rode out herself to intercept David.

1 Samuel 25:23–26, 32–35 (NIV)

23 When Abigail saw David, she quickly got off her donkey and bowed down before David with her face to the ground.
24 She fell at his feet and said: “Pardon your servant, my lord, and let me speak to you; hear what your servant has to say.
25 Please pay no attention, my lord, to that wicked man Nabal. He is just like his name—his name means Fool, and folly goes with him. And as for me, your servant, I did not see the men my lord sent.
26 And now, my lord, as surely as the Lord your God lives and as you live, since the Lord has kept you from bloodshed and from avenging yourself with your own hands, may your enemies and all who are intent on harming my lord be as Nabal is.

32 David said to Abigail, “Praise be to the Lord, the God of Israel, who has sent you today to meet me.
33 May you be blessed for your good judgment and for keeping me from bloodshed this day and from avenging myself with my own hands.
34 Otherwise, as surely as the Lord, the God of Israel, lives, who has kept me from harming you, if you had not come quickly to meet me, not one male belonging to Nabal would have been left alive by daybreak.”
35 Then David accepted from her hand what she had brought him and said, “Go home in peace. I have heard your words and granted your request.”

Abigail reminded David who he was. She lifted his eyes to the bigger story God was writing. And David’s heart broke open. He laid down his sword, not because he was weak, but because love interrupted his anger.

The Lesson

Abigail’s wisdom, her Spirit-led love, kept David from staining his hands with blood. This wasn’t law keeping; it was heart-anchored living. David didn’t hold back because someone scolded him with rules. He held back because love reframed the moment. Love for God, love for the people he would one day lead, love for the bigger picture.

That’s the difference. Real self control is not rooted in rules; it’s born out of relationship. The Spirit in you is full of power, love, and a sound mind. And love is what holds the other two together.

When our thoughts aren’t anchored in love, they drift. We keep score, we hold grudges, we’re harsh. But when love leads, everything shifts. We serve before we’re served. We forgive before we’re asked. We lean in instead of lashing out. Not because we’re trying harder to be good, but because we’ve been loved that deeply.

That’s the fruit of the Spirit at work. It’s not performative, it’s powerful.

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Reflection

Where did emotion try to drive you today, and what would love invite instead? Who at your table needs you to pause before you reply?

Reset Step

When you feel the flush rise, stop and breathe for five. Whisper, “Jesus, lead me in love.” Then speak. One small pause practiced on purpose is stronger than a thousand good intentions.

Hey sister, if this one hits home, then I have created a resource that has been helping when my emotions are driving the moment. Let love take the wheel with this week’s free ‘When Emotions Drive the Moment’ Reflection Guide.”

 Click here to access the freebie
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Let’s reset together. One moment at a time.

With Love,

Jessica Lee